


The Fishing Trip

by Linda18



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-08
Updated: 2000-01-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 03:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11140245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linda18/pseuds/Linda18
Summary: Ray suffers a tramatic attack, and Fraser takes him away on a fishing trip.





	The Fishing Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Views good or bad to: 

Due South and all its characters are the property of Alliance Communications.

THE FISHING TRIP

by Linda Hughes

Stanley Raymond Kowalski felt good. He walked slowly down the street with his hands in his pockets. The sun was hot and the sky blue. He had a week off, and he was going to make the most of it. He and Fraser had just spent a month on a frustrating murder case, and now that the guilty were safely locked up in jail, Ray felt that he could relax.

Tomorrow, he and Fraser were going on a fishing trip, and Ray was really looking forward to it. Just now, however, he wanted to walk in the sun. He felt free, free of the squad room, free of seeing criminals of all shapes and sizes, free of asking the same old questions, free of the squad room coffee and the never ending paperwork, which always threatened to bury him.

As he walked along the street, he looked into shop windows, he could get used to this relaxing. He was just considering diving into a coffee shop and grabbing a doughnut and a quick coffee before walking back to his apartment to finish packing for his trip when he heard the faint scream. 

At first, he couldn't make out where it came from. He looked around, no-one else seemed to have noticed. Perhaps he had imaged it " Ray you are starting to see criminals everywhere" he thought.

Then he heard it again..... He broke into a trot, looking around as he went. As he passed an alleyway on his right, he heard the cry again, louder this time. He went to draw his gun "damn" he muttered under his breath. He was on holiday, he had left it in his apartment.

Taking a deep breath, he entered the alleyway. He ducked behind a dumpster, and cautiously peered around the corner. The elderly lady was pinned up against a wall, whimpering, while four youths menacingly surrounded her. He couldn't quite hear, but Ray thought they were demanding her handbag and jewellery.

The youths had their backs to him so Ray quietly slipped from his hiding place; he picked up a piece of wood as a weapon.

"Chicago P.D." he yelled as he ran forward. The youths turned from their prey, who slipped down the wall breathing heavily. Two of the gang ran towards the other end of the alley, shouting for the others to follow. But the other two members stood their ground, and stared at Ray running towards them. The taller of the two grinned threateningly at Ray, and started towards him.

"Oh great," Ray thought. The youth launched himself at Ray, and knocked him off balance. Ray hit the floor awkwardly, winded. The youth viciously kicked him in the side. Ray cried out, and lashed out with his arms trying to off-balance his attacker. By now, the other youth had joined his partner and picked up Ray's dropped piece of wood. 

Ray stumbled to his feet holding his side. The second youth swung the piece of wood, connecting with the right side of Ray's head. Ray saw stars, but somehow he managed to stay upright. Shaking his head to clear the blurry vision, he advanced on his attackers. Alarmed they retreated slightly. Ray saw an opening, and swung his fist out and caught the smaller of the two off-balance. He never saw the knife coming, but he felt it rip through his jacket and into his right arm. He cried out, and clasped his left hand to the wound trying to stem the flowing blood. His jacket sleeve became red very quickly. He dropped to his knees. "This is it" he thought.

Ray heard a shout from the street end of the alleyway - "hey what's going on down there." A large man advanced down the alleyway. With one final kick at Ray, the youths turned tail and ran from the scene. "Pig" they bellowed as they ran.

Ray felt dizzy, and clutching his arm he staggered to his feet. His first thought was the elderly lady, and he moved slowly over to her. She was lying on her side breathing heavily. She was deathly pale. Ray rolled her onto her back. Her breaths were coming in short bursts. The heavy man arrived at his side. "Dial 911" Ray gasped. 

The man looked at Ray, "Are you OK to stay here," he said.

"Yes. Go, go" Ray yelled. The man hurried back up the alleyway, glancing back as he ran. Ray turned his attention back to the lady. He knelt beside her.

"Help me" she murmured looking at Ray. 

He took her hand, and squeezed it. "Hold on, help's on the way. What's your name" he asked her not being able to think of anything else to say.

"Mary," she replied weakly.

"Don't worry Mary, help will be here soon," he said more confidently than he felt.

"What's your name," she asked. 

"Ray" he answered. 

"Help me Ray," she repeated. 

He held her hand for what seemed an eternity before he heard the siren. He felt sick and dizzy. His right arm and side hurt like hell. Blood kept running into his eye, but he ignored it, and wiped at it with his free arm. "Come on Ray, stay with it" he thought.

He felt Mary's grip on his hand loosening. He turned to look at her. She was still and pale. "Mary, don't die on me now. Hang on" he cried. He shook her. No response. "Mary. Don't go, don't go" he whispered.

He didn't feel the paramedic pull his hand away, and lead him towards an ambulance. He felt numb. He vaguely saw two other paramedics kneeling by Mary working silently.

Ray started to shiver, and a blanket was put around his shoulders. The paramedic was asking him questions, but he couldn't hear them. His blue eyes stared ahead, not seeing. He didn't even feel as the paramedic removed his jacket, and carefully inspected his injuries, applying temporary dressings as he went. He hurt. He wanted to hide. 

He was sitting on a bed in a cubicle, his blood stained jacket on his lap. A nurse was asking him his name. He stared at her. "Don't want to tell us your name" she said. "OK, that's all right, stupid questions anyway," she smiled encouragingly.

He stared at her. "You wait here, I'll fetch the doctor to look at you." She turned leaving Ray alone.

He could hear their voices. "I am afraid she died before we got to her. Her heart just gave out. There was nothing we could do" one voice stated.

"Right, I'll see the other victim now" a deep voice said.

"He won't give me his name and he had no ID on him," a female voice said. "One of the paramedics thought he was a cop from the 27 th. I'll get the desk to give the precinct a call" the voice continued.

Ray stared as the doctor breezed into the cubicle. "Now then, let's have a look at you". The doctor advanced towards Ray. Startled, Ray tried to avoid the doctor touching him. "Now don't be silly. You are hurt, and it's my job to help you," the doctor said impatiently. He leaned forward firmly taking hold of Ray's right arm, and began to remove the temporary dressing. "Mmmm, this will need some stitches. Now let's have a look at your head. Yep, you'll need stitches here as well. My, you have been in the wars," he said. 

He then carefully lifted Ray's t-shirt. A large blackishblue bruise had begun to form on his right side. Ray flinched as the doctor moved his hands up his side. "You're lucky, don't think your ribs are broken. We'll get you up to x-ray just to make sure. Soon have you sorted out, I'll be back in a minute," he said. He breezed out of the cubicle.

Ray stared. He wanted them all to go away and leave him alone. He wanted to hide, to feel safe. He didn't feel safe here.

Fraser was finishing his packing when Constable Turnbull appeared at the door. "Lieutenant Welsh is on the telephone for you. It sounds urgent" he said.

Fraser turned and followed Turnbull into the hall. He picked up the telephone "Hello Constable Benton Fraser here." 

Welsh sounded worried. "Fraser, I've just had a call from Memorial. They think they have Kowalski there, been in some kinda of incident. Won't give his name. One of the paramedics recognised him. Can I pick you up in ten minutes," Welsh said.

"Of course, Lieutenant, I will be waiting for you," Fraser said. He hung up, looking worried. "What had Ray got himself into now" he thought.

"Look after Diefenbacker for me Turnbull," he said. With that he retrieved his hat, and went outside the Consulate to wait for Welsh.

They drove in silence to the hospital. Parking illegally they hurried into the Emergency Room, looking for someone who could help them find their friend.

Going over to the desk, Fraser asked the nurse politely "Excuse me, I am looking for my friend. He was brought in this afternoon." 

She looked up from her work and smiled warmly at the Mountie. "What's his name?" she asked.

"I understand he wouldn't give his name" Fraser answered.

"Oh, that patient. This way, maybe you could get him to talk to us," she said.

Fraser motioned to Welsh, and they both followed the nurse to a cubicle in the corner. "He's in here", she said, pulling the curtain back. The cubicle was empty.

"Oh dear" Fraser muttered. Welsh cursed under his breath. At this moment, the doctor returned. The nurse quickly explained the situation to the doctor. 

"What condition was he in" Fraser enquired.

The doctor looked at Fraser. "Who are you?" he asked. 

"I'm Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I first came to Chicago on the trail of the kil" he started. 

Welsh hushed him with a wave of his hand, saying "I'm Kowalski's commanding officer. Tell us how he seemed to you" Welsh said. 

The doctor turned his attention to Welsh. "He had a stab wound to his right arm, a nasty cut above his right eye, and severe bruising to his right side. He won't get far" the doctor explained. 

The nurse added "he didn't say a word, just stared and" she stopped. 

"And," Welsh demanded.

She swallowed and continued "he seemed afraid."

The doctor scowled, "Nonsense, it's shock, just get him back so I can treat him." With this, he turned on his heels and marched down the corridor. The nurse hurried after him.

"Well, Constable, you're his friend, where will the stupid idiot have gone?" Welsh asked. "God, I've never known anyone like Kowalski. He's always in some kinda of trouble" Welsh exclaimed. 

Fraser knew, despite his words, the lieutenant was worried about Ray. "His apartment" Fraser offered.

Again, they drove in silence to Ray's apartment. Fraser spoke to the landlady and secured a pass key. They ran up the stairs, and knocked on the door. No answer. Fraser used the key. They entered the apartment. Fraser moved from room to room. Signs of packing for their fishing trip was evident in the living room. Ray's holdall was laying on the coffee table, with t-shirts and jeans strewn over the couch. Fraser grinned. He was looking forward to the trip. They had to find Ray.

He paused in the bedroom as something caught his eye. He smiled. Hanging over the bed was the dream catcher, he had given to Ray as a birthday present not long after they had met. 

"And I thought he would have thrown it away thinking it was a stupid present from a freak," he reflected. It was just like Ray. His thoughts were disturbed by the ringing of Welsh's cell phone.

"Yeh, OK, we're on our way." "Constable, let's go" he hollered. "Kowalski's at the Consulate, and Turnbull's rambling on about blood on the carpet."

They got to the Consulate in quick time, and burst through the doors. Turnbull was calmly sitting at the desk. 

"Where is he" Welsh demanded.

"In Fraser's office, I tried to get him to go to hospital he wouldn't go. He was quite rude. The Inspector will be mad, he was bleeding on the carpet" Turnbull replied. 

"Damn the carpet," Welsh cursed. Fraser ran towards the back on the Consulate and his office, Welsh following behind. 

Turnbull turned back to his work "Well I'm not going to tell the Inspector," he muttered defiantly under his breath.

Fraser opened the door to his office. Ray was sitting on the floor in the corner. Dief lay close by sensing that Ray needed help. He didn't look good. He was holding his right arm, his jacket sleeve was soaked blood red. Dried blood over his right eye concealed a nasty cut, and bruises were beginning to form on his thin face. Fraser noticed that Ray was staring ahead, his blue eyes unfocused. His blonde spiky hair was wet with perspiration, and stuck up even more wildly than usual.

Ray stared. He felt safe here. He had once sought asylum here. Fraser had helped him, trusted him. They wouldn't find him here. He was safe.

Fraser moved towards his friend. Ray caught the sudden movement, and hugged the corner tighter. Dief whined. Fraser saw the look of terror in Ray's eyes.

He motioned to Welsh " I think you ought to stay back." Welsh nodded and backed off. 

Fraser advanced again on his friend quietly saying "It's alright Ray. It's me Fraser. I want to help you". Ray drew his legs up to his stomach as if trying to protect himself. Fraser was reminded of a wounded and trapped animal. Shaking the image from his mind, he said "You need to go back to hospital." 

"No. They hurt me" Ray whispered. He started to tremble.

Fraser took his chance, he reached out and touched Ray. Ray flinched and kicked out towards Fraser screaming "Don't touch me, leave me alone, let me be, go away." 

Fraser jumped back despite himself. "Ray, I will not leave you alone. You are my friend. You are hurt, and I want to help you," he said as calmly as he could.

Ray was still trembling. He looked up at Fraser uncertain. "Fraser, help me," he whimpered. Fraser moved forwards carefully. He reached down, and took hold of Ray's arms. Ray let himself be pulled upwards. He grimaced with the pain and effort. Fraser supported Ray in his arms. A look of fear suddenly crossed Ray's features. He pulled away retreating to the corner. Ray's trembling was becoming worse. Fraser stepped forward, just as Ray collapsed onto the floor. Fraser knelt by his friend, and called softly for Welsh.

The Lieutenant appeared at the door. "Call an ambulance" Fraser said. Welsh pulled out his cell phone and dialled. 

Fraser went with Ray in the ambulance, holding onto to his hand hoping that Ray would know he was not alone. Welsh and Dief followed in the lieutenant's car.

**************

Ray had woken up just as the ambulance had arrived at the hospital. He appeared to be frightened, and began to struggle. Fraser insisted that he stay with Ray to help keep him calm while he was being treated. The doctor reluctantly agreed. Welsh and Dief were in the waiting room. Fraser promised he would bring news as soon as he could.

At first Ray had tried to struggle against the doctor, but finally had given up, the fight in him gone. The doctor appeared cross, and dealt with Ray's injuries in silence. Fraser stayed in Ray's line of sight. He didn't know why, but he felt that Ray needed to know that he was there. 

The doctor finally finished "We'll just get you tidied up a bit, and then we will admit you for the night."

"No" Ray said quietly. He fixed the doctor with a determined stare. Fraser moved forward. "No, Fraser, no." Ray repeated. 

"Constable", the doctor motioned Fraser out of the cubicle, and out of Ray's ear shot. "I need you to persuade him to stay for at least tonight. If everything is OK, I'll discharge him tomorrow. See what you can do," the doctor said.

"I don't know if I'll be able to. Ray can be very determined," Fraser admitted. 

"Try. It will do him good," the doctor responded.

"Understood," Fraser replied.

The doctor walked off down the corridor to report to an anxious Welsh and Dief. Fraser returned to the cubicle. "No" Ray whispered before Fraser had a chance to ask. 

"Please Ray, don't be stubborn" Fraser pleaded. Ray stared. He could trust Fraser. Fraser trusted him.

"Will y.." he hesitated, and turned his face away from Fraser.

"Will, I what?" Fraser asked. Silence. "Will I what?" Fraser repeated. 

"Stay. I don't want to be left alone here," Ray whispered. He turned his head back towards Fraser. He looked frightened. "Please, don't leave me here alone."

Fraser looked at his friend concern on his face. He squeezed Ray's hand "Of course, I'll stay with you. I'll not leave you alone." He smiled. Ray closed his eyes. Fraser went to find the doctor.

Ray was soon settled into a room with a drip attached to his good arm. He had begun to struggle again when they had tried to attach it, but Fraser had managed to calm him. Welsh had returned to the precinct to report back to the rest of the squad.

Fraser had found a sympathetic nurse, who had helped him smuggle Dief into Ray's room. Fraser sat in an easy chair, with a cup of tea that the kindly nurse had provided. Ray was asleep. He looked vulnerable, like a small frightened child. The pale light accentuated the bruises appearing on his thin face. His sleep was not restful. He moved and murmured incoherently. Once he cried out, but Fraser couldn't make out the name he called.

Fraser was worried. Ray was one of the bravest men he knew, but he seemed to be so afraid. Ray was his best friend, and he wanted to help, but he didn't know what to do. He had talked to Welsh before the lieutenant had left for the precinct. They had decided that Fraser should still take Ray on the planned fishing trip if the doctor gave his permission. Fraser had promised the lieutenant he would keep in touch.

He was jolted from his thoughts, by an anguished cry. Ray was sitting up in bed, looking wildly around. Perspiration shone off his face, and he was breathing heavily "Fraser, Fraser." 

"I'm here Ray" Fraser stood up and put his hand on Ray's shoulder. "Go back to sleep. You're safe. Dief and I won't let anything happen to you" he soothed. 

Ray looked at him, and reluctantly lowered himself back onto the bed. "Don't leave" he sobbed. "Don't leave. Please don't leave. Don't leave me alone." 

"I promise, Dief and I will not leave you," Fraser comforted.

Dief jumped onto the bottom of the bed, and rubbed his nose against Ray's legs, a sign that he wasn't going to leave his friend. Ray moved his hand down to Dief's head for comfort. Ray closed his eyes. 

Fraser remained standing until Ray fell into a fitful sleep. He sat down again, and closed his eyes. He was going to need all of his strength for the forthcoming trip.

**************

The morning sun streamed through the hospital window, waking Fraser from his light slumber. He smiled, Dief was still snuggled on the bed, protecting Ray. 

He looked down on his sleeping friend. Ray still looked pale. His right eye had turned completely black, and a large blueyellow bruise was apparent on the right side of his face. He stirred slightly. Fraser turned to look out of the window "It was a good day for a trip" Fraser thought.

"Fraser."

Fraser turned back to his friend. He was awake. Dief quietly barked with pleasure. "How are you feeling?" Fraser asked.

"Like I've been run over by a truck" Ray replied with a crooked grin.

"I'll go and find the doctor" Fraser volunteered. 

"No, please stay," Ray pleaded.

Fraser tried not to look surprised. "I'll leave Dief here with you, OK" he said. Dief woofed. Ray nodded slightly unsure. Fraser patted his friend's hand, and then went in search of the doctor.

It had taken some doing, but Fraser had persuaded the doctor that Ray should be discharged. He reasoned that Ray would probably discharge himself anyway. The doctor reluctantly agreed. He wasn't used to dealing with a determined Mountie.

Armed with a range of medication, they left the hospital and had taken a taxi to the Consulate to pick up Fraser's kit. Then they went to Ray's apartment. While Ray was in the shower, Fraser finished neatly packing Ray's holdall. Ray emerged from the shower just as Fraser was zipping up the bag. Fraser couldn't help noticing the angry bruise that covered most of Ray's right side. 

"Are you sure you're up to our trip Ray?", Fraser asked. 

"Yeh," Ray replied "I want to go. I want to get away from here." 

While Ray was in the bedroom changing into some clean clothes, Fraser took the opportunity to telephone Lieutenant Welsh.

"Welsh. Oh, hello Constable, how is Kowalski doing?" he asked. 

"Better. I think our trip will do him good," Fraser replied. He hoped he sounded sure. 

Welsh had caught the tone of Fraser's voice. "Constable, are you sure you doing the right thing?"

Fraser paused slightly "the doctor thought that the trip was a good idea, and Ray wants to go." He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt.

"I found out some information that may be of help to you. I talked to one of the paramedics," Welsh said. He quickly filled in the Mountie on what he had found out. 

"Thank you, I will keep in touch" Fraser responded. 

"Have a good trip and, Welsh hesitated, look after Kowalski." 

"I will, I promise" Fraser said. He hung up.

"Ready to go, Fraser?" Ray said as he came out of the bedroom.

"Yes" Fraser replied. He picked up the bag and followed Ray out of the door. 

They had been driving for an hour in silence. Fraser was driving the GTO. Fraser glanced over at his partner. Ray was staring ahead, strangely quiet. He wasn't complaining about Fraser's driving. Usually, he was accusing the Mountie of "walking in a car", and trying to persuade him to go faster than the posted limit. Ray's head suddenly slumped back against the seat. He had fallen asleep. Fraser continued on out of the city into the "country". After another two hours, he turned off the road onto a dirt track. It was bumpy, and he heard Ray gasp. He glanced over, Ray was holding onto his right side, grimacing. 

"Are you OK, Ray? Do you want to stop for a while?" Fraser asked concerned.

"Nah, I'm good" Ray gasped still holding onto his side. 

"We could stop if you want?" Fraser started. 

"Nah, Fraser drive. Drive willya" Ray insisted.

After a bumpy half hour with Fraser trying desperately to ignore Ray's silent gasps, he parked the GTO outside a wooden cabin. "Here we are" Fraser announced jumping out of the car and going to the trunk to get their bags. Dief, who had been dozing on the back seat for the journey, jumped out and ran into the woods leaping with joy.

Fraser watched as Ray carefully got out of the car, holding his side. Ray saw Fraser watching him. He smiled moving his arm away from his side. "Don't pass out, Ray. Don't pass out" he willed himself. They both went up the steps of the cabin. The cabin was small, but neat and tidy inside. The front door opened into a small living roomkitchen area. Fraser went to the back of the cabin, and opened one of two doors. It was a small clean bathroom. The second door led to a bedroom with two beds covered in patchwork quilts. Fraser deposited their bags on one of the beds.

Ray had slumped onto the couch, his eyes closed. He felt sick. He didn't want to worry Fraser, but he hurt all over. The last half hour had been agony.

Fraser came over and looked down on his friend. Ray slowly opened his eyes. "I need to go and get some supplies from the store back down the road. Will you be alright here?" Fraser asked.

Ray didn't want to be alone. He was afraid to be alone. "Please don't go" he thought to himself, but instead he heard himself saying "Yeh." Fraser looked concerned. "Yeh, go get some supplies" Ray said. Fraser turned and left the cabin. 

On the top of the steps, he called softly "Dief, Dief." Dief came bounding out of the woods towards the Mountie. "Now Dief, I want you to stay and look after Ray for me, I won't be long," he explained to the wolf. Dief looked up, barked softly and disappeared into the cabin.

It was nearly dark by the time Fraser returned from the store. He had hired some fishing tackle, and stocked up on enough provisions for all three of them for a week. He climbed the steps with his purchases under his arms. He quietly opened the door. Dief looked up and whined softly. Ray was asleep on the couch, his features looking drawn and pale in the dim light. 

Fraser quietly deposited the provisions on the counter. He returned to the car, and fetched the fishing tackle, which he positioned just inside the cabin door. He approached the couch to check on his friend. His foot accidentally caught the corner of a small table. A vase fell to the floor. Ray sat up startled. In the dim light, Fraser saw the frightened look on his partner's face. He stepped forward and placed his hand on Ray's shoulder. Ray jumped up as though he had been shot. He looked wildly round. 

"Ray, it's me, Fraser." Ray focused on Fraser and appeared confused for a minute.

"Jeez, you scared the hell outta me," he cried. "Ouch" he winced clutching his side. "Uhh, I think I'm going to be sick." He ran to the small bathroom. 

He returned ten minutes later to an anxious looking Fraser. He looked paler than before, his hair ruffled, and sweat soaking his thin t-shirt. This time, he didn't try to hide his arm holding his right side. He shivered. 

Fraser stepped forward. "I'm sorry Ray, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" 

Ray looked at him. "Stupid question Fraser" he mumbled. With that, he slumped forward into Fraser's arms.

Fraser gently gathered his friend up into arms, and carried him over to the couch. Fraser was surprised at just how light his friend was. He settled Ray on the couch. Fraser ran his hand over Ray's forehead. He felt hot to the touch, and his breathing was ragged. Dief had helpfully dragged a blanket from the bedroom. 

"Thank you Dief" Fraser said. Dief woofed. "Yes, he will be alright. Yes I know he looks pale" Dief woofed again. "Yes we'll look after him." Fraser grinned to himself. If Ray had heard him he would have told him off for talking to the wolf.

Ray stirred. Fraser went to get a glass of water. When he returned, Ray was trying to get up. "No, stay lying down for a while" Fraser insisted. Surprisingly, Ray complied. "Do you want a drink?" Fraser queried. 

"Nah, couldn't keep it down," Ray replied faintly. 

"I'm sorry I startled you" Fraser began. 

Ray waved his arm weakly "it's OK Frase, stupid of me, stupid of me" he murmured his eyes closing. 

Fraser wrapped the blanket snugly around his now sleeping friend, and returned to the kitchen and unpacked the provisions. He fed Dief, and made himself a sandwich. Then he returned to the living room with a cup of bark tea, and sat in the chair opposite the couch silently watching over his friend. Dief settled himself on the floor between his two friends, and dozed, dreaming of hunting in the woods next to the cabin.

**************

Fraser woke with a start. His watch said it was 11.00 a.m. He looked over to the couch. Ray was still asleep. During the night he had turned onto his left side, and Dief had seized the opportunity of snuggling himself into the gap on the couch. His furry nose rested against Ray's back.

Fraser stood up and stretched. He bent over his friend lightly placing his hand on Ray's forehead. Ray felt cool to the touch. "Good" Fraser thought. Ray murmured but did not wake. Fraser quickly showered and dressed in jeans and a checked shirt. He then went into the small kitchen to start cooking a late breakfast. 

"Morning Fraser" a voice behind him said. 

He turned, "Good morning Ray. How are you feeling?" he asked looking at his partner. 

"Uhh, fine. Sorry bout last night, stupid fainting like that" Ray looked embarrassed and fiddled with his hands. 

"Do you want breakfast? Well lunch really" Fraser asked ignoring his partner's discomfort. 

"Nah, not hungry. I'm going to get a shower" Ray answered. He disappeared towards the bathroom.

Fraser continued to cook the meal. When Ray re-appeared, Fraser had cooked eggs and bacon, and hot coffee was steaming in the pot. "I thought you might change your mind" he said. Ray sat down at the counter. 

"Thanks" he said not looking at Fraser. Fraser served their meal and poured two mugs of coffee. He sat opposite Ray. Ray was pushing his eggs around the plate disinterestedly. 

Fraser ignored the movements, and brightly said "Do you want to go fishing today? It's a lovely day outside."

Ray looked towards the window. Silence. Finally, he said "Yes Fraser, let's go fishing." He picked up his mug cradling his hands around it.

Fraser got up and moved over to the door towards the fishing tackle saying "I've rented some fishing gear for us to use." He half turned to add something. Ray was feeding Dief his unfinished eggs and bacon. Fraser decided to pretend he hadn't seen.

They washed the dishes in silence. "Are you sure you're up to a day's fishing?" Fraser asked concerned. 

Ray snapped "Jeez, Fraser stop fussing. I'm OK to go. You're beginning to sound like my mum." He stalked off to get a jacket from the bedroom.

Fraser collected the fishing gear together, and put on his jacket and hat, and waited for Ray on the porch steps. Ray and Dief joined him, and they set off in silence through the woods towards the lake. They set up their rods on the side of the lake, and sat down to wait patiently for the fish to bite. Fraser noticed that Dief stayed close to Ray. The wolf had obviously decided that it was his duty to protect Ray. He had nuzzled close to Ray's side. Ray had unconsciously put his arm around the wolf.

Ray fidgeted nervously and looked at his partner "Sorry Frase, didn't mean to snap at you earlier, he admitted. I know you are trying to help, and I appreciate it, really I do." 

"I know" Fraser said silently. Ray grinned. Fraser continued "You know, I'm here if you want to talk about anything. We're friends, and I want to help" he added. 

Ray absently stroked Dief's head "Yeh, I know. But I can't Fraser, I just can't, it's just too..." his voice trailed off. He looked at Fraser, tears threatening in his blue eyes. He suddenly jumped up and walked slowly back towards the cabin. Dief woofed, and followed.

Fraser sighed. "This was not going to be easy" he thought. He decided to go to the store and ring Welsh to give him an update.

It took him forty-five minutes to walk briskly to the store. He entered, and asked the owner if he could make a telephone call. Sitting in the owner's small office, Fraser dialled the 27 th precinct. "Hello Lieutenant Welsh, this is Constable Benton Fraser" he started.

"Hell, he's going to launch into the story of his coming to Chicago," Welsh thought wildly. "Hello Constable, how are you enjoying your trip?" he said before Fraser could continue.

"The cabin and the fishing are excellent. The weather is really go.." Fraser began.

Welsh interrupted, "Constable, I'm sure the scenery is breathtaking, he said sarcastically. "But how is Kowalski?" he asked.

"Fine" Fraser lied. 

"Come on Constable, spill it" he said. Welsh knew.

Fraser sighed. He wasn't a very good liar. "I think that we will need more than a week" he confessed.

"Mmm, look take all the time you need. Kowalski is due the leave time. Don't worry, I'll clear it with Inspector Thatcher" Welsh said. 

"Thank you kindly Lieutenant. I am sure Ray will appreciate it as well." Fraser crossed his fingers behind his back.

"Oh, by the way, we caught the little bastards" Welsh said. "Tried to do over a liquor store."

"Good" Fraser responded. 

"And the old lady's family wanted to thank Ray for what he tried to do for her. Could you pass that onto Ray? It might help," he said.

"Yes, it might" Fraser replied. 

"Kowalski is a thorn in my side most of time, but he's a good cop. We need him here back at the 27 th. He's more than filled Vecchio's shoes. And I kinda miss our fights," Welsh stated. Fraser was startled at the admission and remained silent.

"Now you look after him, and make sure he comes back fit and rested," Welsh finished.

"Yes sir, I will," Fraser replied.  Fraser hung up smiling to himself. He thanked the store owner for the use of his telephone, purchased some steaks for dinner, and jogged back to the cabin.

With a deep breath, he entered the cabin. Ray and Dief were no-where to be seen. "Oh dear" he muttered. He moved quickly towards the bedroom. He breathed a sigh of relief. Ray was sprawled out on one of the beds fully clothed. Lying on his stomach, one arm dangled off the bed, touching a dozing Dief. 

Fraser crept over to the bed. Ray was muttering in his sleep. Fraser pulled the blanket off his own bed, and carefully covered his partner. He returned to the kitchen, and placed his purchases in the small fridge. He made himself a cup of tea and a light snack. He then sat on the porch watching the sun set over the woods.

**************

Fraser awoke to the smell of bacon. He wandered into the living area. Ray was at the stove cooking. Dief was by his side looking up hoping for the occasional scrap to drop to the floor. Ray turned and grinned. "Morning Fraser. Thought you were going to sleep all day." Fraser cocked his head to one side.

"It will be ready soon" Ray continued turning back to his task. "Hurry up, or I'll give yours to Dief" Ray said. Dief woofed hopefully.

Fraser disappeared into the bathroom. When he returned, Ray had placed two plates on the counter. It looked good, poached eggs, fried potatoes and bacon. Fraser began to eat. It tasted surprisingly good. He looked at his friend and smiled. "I didn't know you could cook" he mocked. 

"Gotta be good at something" Ray replied. Fraser noted a slight catch in Ray's voice. "Do you want toast?" Ray quickly added before Fraser could say anything. He got up and turned his back on Fraser fumbling with the ancient toaster.

Fraser decided to leave the conversation there. Thanks to Lieutenant Welsh he had plenty of time to find out what was bothering his partner so much. He was more concerned that Ray again had eaten little of his breakfast.

**************

The next few days were spent fishing. The days were warm and sunny, and the partners fell into a regular pattern. Ray would rise early and cook breakfast, then they would go fishing for the day. Fraser would then cook dinner for them. They would then sit in companionable silence watching the sun set over the woods. Ray would usually fall asleep, and Fraser would rouse him, and hustle him off to bed. 

At the instruction of the hospital, Fraser had taken Ray to the local doctor for a check-up and removal of his stitches. Ray had fidgeted the whole time, hardly saying a word to the doctor, looking determinedly at the floor. 

While the nurse was refilling Ray's prescription , the doctor had taken Fraser aside concerned. Fraser assured the doctor he was keeping an eye on Ray, and promised he would call if he needed help.

It was a warm afternoon, and Fraser was sitting on the porch, Dief curled up at his feet. Ray had decided to go for a walk in the woods. Fraser had sensed that Ray wanted to be alone. 

Fraser was enjoying himself, but was worried about his partner. Ray seemed to be enjoying himself, but sad blue eyes sometimes betrayed an inner terror. He would become silent, staring into the distance lost in his own thoughts. His bruises had begun to fade, but Fraser was worried that Ray looked thinner than usual, which made him seem even more fragile. Ray continued to pick at his meals, and Fraser knew that Dief was benefitting.

Fraser had decided that he was going to try to talk to Ray tonight after supper. He couldn't wait any longer for his friend to bring the subject up. He had expected an argument when he relayed his conversation with Lieutenant Welsh. Ray had just nodded, saying that he didn't want to go back to the city just yet. 

He stretched "Well Dief, think I'll start getting supper ready." Dief jumped up, and followed Fraser into the cabin.

**************

Ray had wanted to be alone. He had told Fraser he was going for a walk. He thought that Fraser would insist on joining him, but Fraser had simply nodded, and had remained sitting on the porch with Dief at his feet.

Ray walked slowly, his hands in his jacket pockets. He couldn't get that afternoon out of his mind. Could he have done things differently? Would Mary still be alive? Would he be feeling like this? "Hell, how do I feel? Afraid. Useless. Yes, that's it. That's how I feel" he thought desperately. He was jolted out of his thoughts when he tripped on a low root. He looked around. He hadn't realised how far into the woods he had wandered. "Suppose, I'd better get back," he thought reluctantly. 

He turned, and tried to retrace his steps. Not easy, he hadn't been looking where he was going, lost in his thoughts. He had a strange feeling that he was walking in circles, but shook this from his mind. Determinedly, he carried on. He walked for another half an hour passed, but seemed to be no nearer to finding the cabin. 

"Oh great, where is the Mountie when you need him" he thought desperately trying to find a landmark he recognised. "You can do this Ray, it's easy" he said to himself. He marched on, and tumbled over a fallen log. "Damn" he swore. Picking himself up, he noticed the lake ahead of him. "See I told you it's easy. Who needs the Mountie" he smiled to himself.

He strode towards the lake. He would get his bearings from there. It was then he saw them. Mother bear and her cubs were at the edge of the lake. The cubs were playing in the shallows while their mother kept guard. 

Ray's boot broke a small twig. The mother bear looked round in the direction of the noise. Her cubs threatened, she growled, and started to bound towards Ray. At first Ray froze staring at the mother bear advancing towards him. Then, fear took over, and he ran back towards the woods. He stumbled through the undergrowth. He could hear the bear behind him. His legs felt weak, and he was breathing heavily. Still he ran willing himself to go forwards. In his panic, he didn't see the low branch, which almost knocked him to the floor. 

Suddenly, remembering one of Fraser's long winded stories, he grabbed the branch and swung himself up into the tree. He broke the lower branches from the trunk with his feet as he climbed higher up the tree. When he felt he was high enough, he positioned himself on a large branch, wrapped one arm around the trunk and clung on. He looked down, the mother bear was circling the tree. He hoped that knocking off the lower branches would prevent her from climbing the tree. She continued to circle the tree, looking up and growling loudly. He closed his eyes tightly. He could see them coming towards him. He flinched slightly remembering the pain. He gripped the tree tighter "Please go away. Leave me alone. Please leave me alone" he whispered trying to shake the memory. 

**************

Fraser came out onto the porch, and looked towards the woods. Ray had been gone for hours, and he was beginning to worry. Mind made up "Come on Dief, let's go and look for Ray" he called. 

Dief raced off ahead, nose down. Fraser jogged along behind trying not to worry.

Dief did his best to follow the trail, but it seemed to go around in circles. "Dief, let's make our way back to the lake, and start again" Fraser decided. 

Dief ran on ahead. Fraser caught up, and jumped over a fallen log. He saw Dief playing at the water's edge with some bear cubs. Fraser looked around, he couldn't see their mother. "Oh dear" he thought. He looked back, and started to retrace his steps calling Dief as he went. Dief continued to play with the cubs.

Fraser sighed, and moved as quietly and quickly as he could through the woods. He came upon the mother bear circling a tree, growling. He peered up into the tree, and saw Ray desperately clinging to the trunk, eyes tightly closed. 

He picked up two small branches, and without hesitation ran forward shouting at the top of his voice, and beating the branches together. The bear turned towards the noise, startled. Fraser kept running forward yelling loudly. The bear looked once more up the tree, and ran back through the woods towards the lake and her cubs. Fraser carried on running after the bear to ensure that she would not return. After a few metres, convinced that it was safe, he returned to the tree and his partner. Dief arrived at Fraser's side. "Thank you kindly for coming to help me" Fraser scolded. Dief woofed guiltily.

Looking up the tree, he called "Ray. You can come down now, it's safe."

"I can't" a frightened voice said.

"Yes, you can. The bear's gone now" Fraser shouted.

"I can't Fraser, I can't. They'll come back." Ray cried.

Fraser was puzzled. "Who will come back Ray? he asked.

"They will" Ray persisted.

Fraser decided to take control, and shouted, "Ray, listen to me. There is no-one down here except Dief and I. The bear is gone. Nothing or no-one can hurt you. Ray are you listening to me? Ray."

"Yeh, I'm listening. Quit shouting at me willya" Ray snapped.

"Sorry, Ray. Come down. I promise you, it's safe" Fraser responded. 

"Fraser. I'm stuck. I knocked the lower branches off, like you did in one of those long stories of yours. I can't get down. I'll fall. I'll fall" Ray cried. 

"Oh dear. I didn't think you listened to my stories, Ray." Fraser smiled despite the situation. 

"Fraserrrr" Ray wailed.

"Right hang on. I'm coming up to get you. Just don't look down" Fraser said as he started towards the tree. He was glad that he had his walking boots on as they gave him a good grip on the tree trunk. He climbed up slowly towards his partner. He reached a branch just above Ray's on the other side of the tree. He sat astride the branch, and held on with one arm. Ray was still clinging to the tree trunk, eyes tightly closed. He leaned forward "Ray, give me your hand. I'll pull you up to this branch. It's easier to climb down this side. You missed a few small branches at the bottom" he said.

Ray clung tighter to the tree, his eyes still closed tightly. "No, I'll fall."

"You won't fall. I won't let you fall. Trust me" Fraser answered holding his hand out towards his partner. "Ray, Ray, Ray. Look at me now" he commanded.

Startled at the tone of voice, Ray opened his eyes and looked at Fraser. "Give me your hand" Fraser instructed while he had Ray's attention. Ray shifted slightly, and hesitantly reached out with his free hand towards Fraser. Fraser grabbed it, and pulled Ray towards him. Ray yelled as his body swung around towards Fraser. He tried to seize the branch, missed, and found himself hanging in midair with only Fraser's strong grip on his wrist preventing him from falling. Fraser grunted, but his grip tightened. Dief barked in alarm from the bottom of the tree. 

"Fraserrrr" Ray cried out frightened.

"Trust me Ray. I won't let you fall" Fraser gasped increasing his grip on Ray's wrist.

He slowly began to pull Ray up towards him. Ray reached up with his free hand, and made a wild grab for the branch his partner was sitting on. 

He managed to get a grip and with Fraser supporting his other arm he pulled himself up onto the branch. The partners sat for a while drawing deep breaths. Fraser flexed his arm. 

"Thanks Fraser" Ray croaked.

"I told you I wouldn't let you fall." Fraser said grinning.

"Yeh, you did" was all Ray could say. 

"You know, if you had listened to my stories properly, you would have known not to run from the bear. Bears are quite shy and frighten easily," Fraser said.

Ray favoured him with a dirty look. "Well, I don't meet many bears in Chicago, Fraser."

Fraser grinned again. "Are you alright to go down now?" Fraser asked.

"No. But do I have a choice?" Ray responded unhappily.

"Well, no. I'll help you" Fraser promised.

Fraser helped Ray climb back down the tree. Ray dropped to the ground first to be met by a very happy wolf, who licked his face enthusiastically.

"Could you get your wolf to stop eating me?" he said as Fraser dropped to the ground. Dief turned his attention to Fraser. Fraser smiled at this partner.

"He's just happy we're safe. Let's get back to the cabin. I think we have earned our supper tonight" he said.

*************

They sat down to eat their supper. Ray pushed his food around the plate, distracted. Taking a deep breath, Fraser decided to raise the subject they had both been avoiding.

"Ray," Fraser began. 

Ray put his hand up. He had been expecting this. "Don't Fraser, don't go there. I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it, please." He looked down and stabbed at his fish. 

"I can't leave it Ray. You are my friend. You are unhappy, and I want to help if I can" Fraser continued determined. 

"You can't help, no-one can. Just leave it alone. I'm fine, great, good. Happy now?" he snapped. He looked down at this plate avoiding Fraser's eyes. 

Fraser continued "No, I am not happy and you are certainly not fine. You are making yourself ill. Don't think I haven't noticed you feeding Dief most of your meals" Fraser accused. 

"No, I hav.." Ray started but gave up defeated. "So" he said defiantly staring at Fraser. 

"So, I want to help, if I can" Fraser persisted. He fixed his partner with an equally determined stare of his own.

"You can't help. No-one can. Just leave it Fraser. Leave me alone" Ray replied angrily. He pushed his plate aside, jumped up and left the cabin. Fraser hesitated for a moment, then followed. He found Ray sitting in one the chairs on the porch, his eyes closed, and his long legs stretched out. Dief lay at his feet.

"Leave it Fraser. I told you, I don't want to talk about it" he said hearing his friend approach.

"No, I'm not going to leave it. I'll sit here until you talk to me. I've got time" Fraser said.

They sat in silence. Ray inwardly sighed. He knew that Fraser was not going to give up. He glanced at his partner. Fraser was staring at the sky. He looked tranquil, and at peace. An overwhelming sense of sadness swept over him. "Why can't I feel like that," he thought tears threatening. "No, I will not cry" he told himself. He shifted position.

"I'm useless to everyone. I hurt and destroy anyone who comes into my life" Ray blurted out. Startled Fraser looked at his partner. 

Concerned, Fraser said "Ray." 

"No Fraser, don't say anything. They should have killed me. I thought they were going to finish me. But they killed Mary instead of me. It should have been me. She wanted me to help her, but all I could do was hold her hand. Stupid, stupid. I held her hand, and she just died. I couldn't save her. I couldn't save her. They hurt me, but I let them kill Mary," he anguished.

Fraser interrupted, "Ray, listen to me, it wasn't your fault Mary died. I talked to the doctor, she had a weak heart. The attack was just too much for her. You mustn't blame yourself. The doctor said he doubted that anyone would have been able to save her."

Fraser took a deep breath, "Mary's family wanted to thank you. She was afraid of dying alone. I'm sure you holding her hand helped." 

Ray looked at his partner uncertain. Fraser didn't lie. He trusted Fraser. 

Ray choked, "but I'm useless, I could have killed you this afternoon. I could have pulled you out of that tree because I was afraid. I was afraid of the bear. Afraid that they had come back to finish me. You could have died, and it would have been my fault. You're the first person to really trust me, and I let you down." He turned away, tears threatening.

"Ray" Fraser put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Fraser. I'm so sorry. The doctor said I was a victim, I heard him say it. Maybe he's right, but I don't want to be a victim. I don't want to be afraid anymore" Ray's voice trailed off into a sob.

"Ray, you are not a victim. If you let yourself become a victim, the people that attacked you and Mary will win, and they mustn't be allowed to win. You are one of the most courageous men I know, and it is an honour to be your partner, and your friend. You have never let me down. You didn't let me down this afternoon. You have been hurt and ill. Everyone is allowed to be afraid at some time in their life." 

Fraser paused looking for the right words "I understand. I don't expect you to be at your best all of the time. You can be afraid. It's OK to be afraid. That is what true friendship is all about."

Ray turned and stared at his partner "but" he began. 

Fraser silenced him. "We are friends, and that is all that matters. Friends trust each other without question. This afternoon, you were afraid, but you trusted me enough to know I would not let you fall. Gaining your trust means a lot to me. And I would trust you with my life, and have done so on many occasions. I am glad that you are my friend, Ray."

He glanced at his now silent partner, "Now, we have both had a long day. I think we should turn in. We can talk some more in the morning if you feel up to it," Fraser continued stifling a yawn.

Ray nodded. He was tired. He knew that he was no longer alone with his fear. He knew that Fraser would help, would listen. He got up and moved towards the cabin door. Turning back to the Mountie, he said "Fraser, I'm glad you're my friend as well." 

Fraser smiled. They had a few more days before they had to go back to the city. They would talk some more, but Fraser knew that Ray had at last begun the real healing process, and would eventually manage to overcome his demons. He was glad that he had been able to help. 

Yes, it was an honour to be Stanley Raymond Kowalski's friend and partner.

THE END


End file.
